Pamela M Skillman, LCSW
Most couples begin counseling with little awareness of why they are struggling or how to make things better. Pam uses Imago Relationship Therapy to help couples transform long-standing dysfunctional patterns into more conscious and intentional ways of being together. She provides couples with tools and skills to identify and resolve conflict so that they can repair and reconnect. This path to reconnection is through a structured dialogue process, a relational approach rather than an individual approach. As the couple heals, the individual heals. Her clients gain insight into their own patterns and behaviors, and become more conscious and intentional, both individually and relationally. Pam feels privileged to witness amazing reconnections- both with their authentic selves and as a more conscious couple. She has extensive training and experience in working with a wide range of partnerships – in age, gender and sexual orientation.
“We are born in relationship, are wounded in relationship and heal in relationship”– Harville Hendrix
Pam knows we can all grow, change and heal. She integrates well-researched methods and techniques and tailors her approach to each unique individual. As a Relationship Specialist, she knows that we are all trying to connect – connect with ourselves and connect with others. Through attuned listening and holistic thinking, Pam recognizes her clients for their strengths, providing a solid foundation for a safe and nurturing environment for change and growth. The eminent psychologist Carl Rogers wrote, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, I can change.”
In her work with individuals, Pam often uses Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Clients want tools and skills for navigating through the complexities of life. Throughout her career, Pam has facilitated DBT groups with adolescents and adults and uses DBT methods and underpinnings throughout her work. She often integrates mindfulness practices, including visualizations and meditative breathing into sessions. Once her clients begin to identify negative thinking patterns and self-destructive tendencies, they are better equipped to change their behavior and live more conscious and fulfilling lives.
Pam studied at the London School of Economics and received her Bachelor of Arts degree from William Smith College. Although she began her career on Wall Street, she soon realized her passion is people, not numbers. For 15 years, she has worked with individuals, families and couples in various settings including psychiatric inpatient and private practice. Most recently, Pam lived in London and counseled asylum-seeking women who identified as sexually traumatized. Her experience with this marginalized population furthered her knowledge of severe and complicated trauma. Her specialties include relationships (pre-marital, marital, divorce, separation, LGBTQ, and family issues), depression and other mood disorders related to grief, loss or trauma.
A Licensed Clinical Social Worker, she received her Master’s degree from Fordham University in 2006 and became a certified Imago Relationship Therapist in 2014. she received certification as an Advanced Imago Clinician in 2020.